Saturday, April 20, 2013

The World Is Calling...

Having been back for about two weeks, the initial delirious excitement of returning home to Chicago, IL has worn off, and I am left with general sense of restlessness.

For those who know me, you know I am incapable of staying in one place for too long(note blog name), and seeing how I have lived in Chicago for the past three years, day by day I am increasingly feeling the tug of faraway lands...

"Well, I have the key in my hands: all I have to find is the lock..."

For the last couple days, the weather in Chicago has been a bit out of sorts- rain, fog and even snow(!?)-culminating in a tremendous thunderstorm this week that sent screaming winds whistling through the floor to ceiling windows of my apartment. The weather outside seems to mirror my feelings inside because ever since returning to the states I have experienced a storm of emotions...swirling and consuming me. Feels like I have been living in a haze with the blinds drawn-both figuratively and literally- been stuck mulling over my decisions and second guessing everything. But today, the storm has stopped and the sun is out. I have downed my second third cup of piping hot coffee and maybe its the shock of sunshine, maybe its the deluge of caffeine but finally my mind is clear.
View from my balcony: The calm before the storm

I have decided to stop hiding and to face my future. What do I really have to fear? And besides, I recognize that I unwittingly made up my mind a long time ago, for from the moment I typed "European Internships" into the internet search box last year, there was no turning back for me. Without fully realizing it, I dipped my toes in the forbidden pool and had my first feel of freedom. Then while living in Sweden, I shed the final layers of my stable all-American life and waded waist deep into the tumultuous waters of the unknown-and there I still remain..waiting.

Upon returning to Chicago, I made a life-changing decision about my future, and while it was an educated decision, no gamble is without risks... So being the over thinker that I tend to be always am, I am ashamed to admit that I have been mentally cowering and racked with self-doubt ever since. It seems that I had resigned myself to holding my breath and passively waiting for my future to announce itself, but today I say-NO, this is no way to live! I need to COMMIT!

The plan:
One more month in Chicago to tie up loose ends and solidify my plans
Two months in China to start work on my business
Two weeks to travel--somewhere :)

In the fall, I will be returning to Scandinavia. I am not yet certain where exactly I will be and whether I will be in school or working- either way, I understand that my journey is one that I have to make alone. By leaving America, I will be leaving the people I love most in my life-such a scary thought-but am I somewhat placated by the knowledge that my friends will only be a skype call away(time-zone permitting).

I need to stop being afraid. So, no more wading around clumsily in the kiddie pool - Its time to Exhale, Inhale-and Dive In! 

-Ran-A Nomad Under Construction-

"Life is going on as normally as ever
But suddenly something seems to have happened
Everybody seems to be staring in one direction
People seem to be frightened, even terrified
I want everybody to understand this
I don't understand
I don't understand
There are a lot of things we don't understand, either
We need answers from you: what did you expect to find?
What's going to be our future?
It's your responsibility to do something about it
Well, I have the key in my hands: all I have to find is the lock"

I am listening to:
"Que Sera"-Wax Tailor

Friday, April 12, 2013

Hello America, the Land of Burgers, Tacos and Fro-yo!

Hello my friends and faithful readers(anyone out there?),

My blog has been quiet for a bit, mostly because I have been busy moving out of my apartment in Stockholm and getting re-adjusted to life back stateside. When I first arrived in Chicago, it was beautiful, the sun was streaming, the skies were blue and and it just felt so damn good to be "home".

And wouldn't you know it, the first thing I did was go out and EAT all the good ol' American food I had been craving, dreaming, and drooling about during my time in Sweden. Don't get me wrong, the food in Scandinavia was amazing, but there is something to be said about the satisfaction and pure unadulterated joy that I get from sinking my teeth into a perfectly cooked beef patty covered with melted gooey cheese(o glorious cheese!) and feeling the grease dribble down my chin...disgustingly graphic huh? Ha, you betcha!

I rounded out my food haul with a lunch stop at Nui Sushi for their half price maki lunch special and a delicious dinner consisting of an assortment of tacos plus a massive frozen margarita at Flacos Tacos! I also made room for chicken nuggets and waffle fries at Chick Filet and of could I forget the delicious dairy goodness that is Forever Yogurt?!

Peanut butter frozen yogurt! I have missed thee!

So what if my skinny jeans are now feeling a bit snug and I've had to loosen my belt one two weeklong food binge was worth it! And besides the gym is just across the street, I plan on reactivating my account just as soon as my jet-lag coma wears off! :p


I am listening to:
"Waste"- Foster the People

--Coming Soon- Last Hurrah in Scandi

---Coming Soon---
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