Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Kicking A$$ and Taking No Prisoners

Since I have moved to Copenhagen, life has been full of surprises both good and bad. Each day I spend here, I learn more about myself. Distanced from all the things that made me feel safe in USA, I have been forced to learn to become self-reliant here. Its been wonderful here, but its also been so hard here, so incredibly hard. The challenges just keep piling up, one after another- everything goes wrong at once. How can one small person like me handle it all. But I have no choice, do I? I either find a way to solve my problems and persevere, or I give up and this whole journey was for naught.

In USA, the old me would have let my emotions get the best of me, and become reclusive- left tasks undone. But here in Denmark, I know- when it comes down to it -I am the only one responsible for myself. If I don't take care of myself, no one will. Of course I still get sad sometimes, and my insomnia comes back with a vengeance, but unlike before where I would be overwhelmed by my sadness, now I have learned to put it aside(after a bit) and continue to get things done. 

I try my best to keep my priorities in line and invest in myself. Some people may call this cold or say I don't care, but that's exactly opposite the case. Its because I care too much about the people in my life, that I don't want them to have to take care of me. I try to live my life in a way that makes me happy, so others can share in my joy and not have to deal with catching the failing  me. Of course this is still a learning process. But after all these years, I have come to the conclusion that the only one that can make me truly happy is myself and being self-sufficient and independent is not being selfish, but rather the most real way of showing I care about the people in my life. 

Of course I am not perfect, but I like who I am now far more than the me a year ago, or two years ago. Maybe I am a bit more jaded and scarred but I have learned that life goes on. I fight for what I want, and I fight for what makes me happy. As tough as things get, I know I can find a way to make it through, as I always do. I may be one small person - but I am one damn tough person ;)  So now, its back to kicking a$$ and taking no prisoners! Stolen phone, broken computer, downgraded apartment, new challenges and new adventures - I'm not afraid, lets do this!

--Ran- The Warrior Nomad--

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